So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
