If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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