Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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