boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
