I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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