I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
