He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
