I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
