I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
