So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
