I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
