I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
