happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize