i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So much rum. So many feels.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize