Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i dont even know how to be here
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
