you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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