Just cropdusted the office
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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