using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
