mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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