my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
