How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
