I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
