There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My vagina just clenched in fear
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
