We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
