i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Randomize
