Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize