I must be too annoying 4 u.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
