I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
