Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want to make a zoo with you.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
