I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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