i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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