lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
