I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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