Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
