My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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