just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
