I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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