you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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