Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
