u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You pole danced in your parka.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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