if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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