I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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