Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
