This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
