I love black thongs
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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