I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
