Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
