just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
