I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
