he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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