At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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