Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
