i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
