had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
