Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
