he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
