Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
